The Glass Slipper

glass_slipper

I decided many years ago it would be me against the world – not ‘up’ against the world. What i mean is, I never bought into the Prince Charming idea; I never was a great fan of Fairy-tales. The first time I watched Cinderella, my focus was solely on the talking mice . I remember being perplexed by the notion of a glass slipper. Firstly, I had big fluffy slippers – the featured picture looked nothing like my dog-head foot warmers, and secondly, what moron walks on shoes made from glass? I was sure they would break and Cinderella would be left with throbbing, painful feet! And a blood trail which would lead right to her – Idiot. So that’s not how that went down (thankfully), but see my point? – Not big into the Princess and everybody lived happily ever after notion.

Now, some years on, I find myself in love. Caught somewhat unaware, Cupid got me good. I still don’t buy into the fairy-tale notion but I think I know why Cinderella’s “slippers” were glass. It’s bloody terrifying!!! I have a spring in my step, I feel taller and apparently my eyes are extremely shiny (glass like). But I know that they – these shoes, and that which they symbolize, can break. Not only break but shatter – leaving me on the floor with glass in my feet and glass in my hands; leaving me in pieces. It’s a scary thought. This person who means so much to me, could leave at any moment. I’ve never placed my happiness in a person, profession or thing – Happiness comes from within. I am against the idea of having people “make you happy”. That being said, people do bring joy and this Lover of mine sure does bring me joy. His smile alone…joy floods my being.

This is the thing with love. You cannot make someone love you. You just have to step out and place your weight on the glass slippers – hoping that they are strong enough to carry you and all that comes with you.

xo

Sliced

via Daily Prompt: Cake

sliced

Life slices us all in some way, but is that not part of living? What good is a cake if you do not cut it? A whole divided. Do we not give of ourselves? I would rather be sliced. Pieces of myself being consumed by those who enjoy my flavour – is this not better than to sit on a display rack wasting away as bacteria feasts?  A whole cake is a pointless cake unless sliced.  

The Glitch

Living the spastic life…

You know what, it’s tough. It’s what I know – what i have always known. Some days it’s not too tough and then other days – it’s a mission. I usually forget that I’m spastic. It’s not really forgetting – i guess; it’s just my ‘normal’…I doubt you spend time thinking about the fact that you’re not spastic. It would be like harping on the fact that you have the eye colour you have – it is what it is. 

It’s only when I get a glimps of my reflection in shops’ windows, or when my shadow guides me. Also when i have to climb stairs, or my hip painfully clicks…or I want to dance with my boyfriend and I realise that I move like a somewhat clumsy penguin having a stroke. He’s amazing by the way – my boyfriend. He’d probably be happy with just swaying from side to side, but I want to Salsa dammit. 

I’m actually not sure that I do forget – Come to think about it, No – I don’t forget. I just realise that I am more than a Spazz, and my strengths out weigh my weaknesses – not necessarily in numbers. I use my weaknesses in ways which strengthen me, thus moving them from the “weakness” category over to the “Strengths” section.

Life is what you make it. I have a glitch…but because of it, I am Stronger. 

Xo

Happiness Unlocked…

People spend their lives searching. Like sniffer dogs in the dark of night, they wonder through a forest choked by a chain. They are so engaged in the scent they are following, so concentrated on pleasing the people holding their chokers, they neglect everything around them. They become blind, deaf and although they run, they are lame. They don’t see the flowers bathed in the moon light, the mirror in puddles, the beauty that is all around them; they don’t see the beauty within themselves. Fixated on finding ‘something’, they lose track of what it is they are after – they just charge on. Passing their own lives as they run over the graves of their descendants, they are oblivious to all that they have, to all that they could have.

People seek and search for things everyday of their lives. Keys, wallets…marbles. They are constantly looking for things, but what I refer to is far greater than those much-needed objects. If you asked 100 random people “What do you want?” you would get some interesting  responses, but the majority of answers will amount to something along the lines of “I want to be rich”, “I want to be successful” and last but not least “I want to be happy”.  I want to be happy – Such a simple thing yet so many people suffer from depression, so many people wish they weren’t born, suicidal thoughts, self-mutilation, rejection, broken self-images – why is the world full of this when it is almost everyone’s wish to be happy?

The people who want success – they too actually just want happiness. They have just bound happiness and success into one thing but actually, they are worlds apart. The same goes for wealth – ‘Rich’ equals success, success equals happiness but like I said, they are worlds apart – wealth and success needs to be earned.

Like the sniffer dogs, people who seek wealth and success become blind to everything beautiful, their noses become so full of the stench from the scent they are following, they lose scent of how bad it actually smells. They no longer remember the scent of a rose – they are blind to roses, to trees and flowing water. These things become nothing but obstacles to them – they get in the way of what they want, or what they think they want.

Happiness isn’t an object; it’s not a person, not a song, not a delicious chocolate cake. It’s not a job, a sports car, a model wife or husband. Happiness is not anything tangible, you can’t smell it, can’t taste it. Happiness is a feeling – the things listed can make that feeling double and multiply but if it’s not in you, if you think and feel like you need to accomplish things for it to be in you – you’re on the wrong path. If small things like butterflies and rainbows don’t awaken that feeling where you’re warm and something within you “pops,” and pops again…you have lost happiness. You have grown old -growing up is necessary but growing old in spirit will rob you of your happiness. People are taught that doing things they used to love becomes inappropriate for their “age”  but Look at happy, “old” people, they are few and hard to find but they are the ones who dance on tables and swap teeth to “try it out”, they are the ones who still blow bubbles and laugh; who swing even though their tired old bones will not survive another fall. They have the pop of happiness because they never denied the things that made them happy when they were growing up. They told society and its beliefs to go to hell because so what if they liked dancing – so what if they couldn’t dance – it brought them joy and because it did, they didn’t care what people thought and did. In a crowd at a restaurant, if an old lady is shaking her hips, what would your response be? You can leave – keep following the stench of being rich or successful, you can laugh at, you can laugh with or you can get up and go dance with her. I hope the latter two are what you would choose, because life isn’t all about suits and caviar and silver plates and diamond rings. It’s all a journey; don’t get to the end of your road carrying nothing but a full bank account.

Get to the end and have the ability to say that you have watched the sun rise – not because you pulled an all-nighter for business sake, but because you never went to sleep the night before just so that you could see the earth moving, so that you could see the palette of colours the sun brings with it as it awakens the land. Have the ability to say that you have danced in the rain, bathed in mud, kissed the one you love under the stars because those things are memories that will always make your heart smile.

Value what truly matters. Make time for the people you love – to do the things you love together. “Death smiles at us all” – Death is not interested in smiling at the faces on your notes ($)  – he smiles at you. Smile back at him, don’t fix your gaze on that face, or those faces ($). Look him in the eyes and humbly proclaim “I have lived.”

xo

 

 

The War

Suddenly not a sound could be heard. The silent screams of the world could no longer be heard. The sound of crickets chirping to the night ceased, dripping taps, still leaking, dripped no more and darkness fell. It seemed like the earth stopped turning and the ticking of tic- toc clocks completely stopped. The only sand grains that fell were the ones being tossed around by crashing waves as the black ocean hugged the silver shore, but time did not cease; the hour glass remained in its forever changing form, for the tiny grains still slipped through the top as they streamed down into the bottom, like a river flowing free. Time flying by, out of sight, a minute felt like second but a second felt like an hour. I felt every beat of my heart, the blood went in and the blood went out, galloping through my veins; I felt my neck pulsing. Was it fear? Excitement? Only time would tell but to tell time, it had to be measured, much like chasing a rainbow, it would create more questions than provide answers and as it was, I had enough questions. Questions with no answers, images of nothing, everything was something but I had no access to what anything was. Conscious, I knew that I was still alive but knowledge meant nothing. It held no power for I was no longer in the world of knowledge; I entered into a completely new dimension; a parallel universe if you may.

My eyes shut tight, yet wide open. My diaphragm lifted and collapsed, just like the waves rolled in and crashed, only to roll back into the dark depths yet again. Breathing deep, I exhaled a steady stream of steam into the dark, cold night.

Thinking of him; Was this love? More like war…

xo